You don't want to rest in your femininity, you just want to rest.

The girlies are tired and embracing fascim

Hello girls and gays,

I must admit, despite being politically conscious and chronically online, I'm one of those people who didn’t see fascim coming from that angle. When the "feminine energy/divine feminine " content started floruishing on social media, I laughed it off. New age shit has always been around and who in their right mind would take it seriously and apply it to their lives? I paid no attention to the light skinned black women wearing crystals and headwraps, and whispering spiritual hotep nonsense as advice and fact. Internet is free, every and any lunatic has the right to record nonsense and post it on their feed. I assumed we all were too intelligent to gobble it up but girl was I wrong. I realized too late that the gen Z girlies were gobbling it up like I swallow sweet treats when I’m going through my premenstrual dysphoric phase. No discernment involved whatsoever.

Now what the hell is that ? Straight from a 1920’s magazine. We are doomed.

Feminity coaches, divine feminine, divine masculine, feminine energy, dark feminine, feminine archetypes, resting in your femininity etc. IT'S ENOUGH! The people who introduced those in the online public discourse have blood on their hand and should be banned to the ether because what the entire fuck ?!

I, for one, never understood the principle of assigning a gender to energy or essence. The tide is feminine, the sun is masculine and humans are either ? Plus, if we're talking about “divine feminine” what divinities are we talking about here ? Oya Iansã , Kali and Athena are all feminine divinities yet they are warriors and destructive entities. So, what's the truth?

Personnal anecdote : I have often been described as someone with a lot of “masculine energy” by both spiritual practitionners and regular people. It never bothered me because femininity doesn’t pay my bills. I mostly laughed it off because let me tell you something, my essence is pure feminine power, I come from a matrilinear family of strong, aggressive women and I am a daughter of Oya. Ain't nothing masculine about this energy.

Accurate depiction of my mother Oya , resting in her very soft, very delicate, very passive feminine energy.

Once again , I blame the US of A. Like I often say, we are all on Marck Zuckerbeg’s internet and everything, every trend the US americans starts, trickles down on the rest of us. For worse or for worse. From divine femininity and hypergamy coaches to incel podcasts. The younger girlies are unknowingly being taught sex workers strategies to attract rich men, without being taught sex workers safety. By some cognitive dissonance, at the same time conservatism is back and they are on the internets shaming women who have sex, who have kids without being married, as well as single mothers (that's a good chunk of the women population innit ?)

They are dreaming to be Nara Smith, pregnant with her fifty-leven child at 22, baking air from scratch while her conventionnally attractive white husband slaps her ass hungrily. The young girlies are aspiring be stay at home girlfriends, to be at the mercy of a man’s will without even the meagre protection of marriage. The young girlies are buying Chanel looking outfits on Shein and think that would make them look “old money” and attract rich men; as if rich people can't tell from miles away they're definetely not part of their social class.

From the series : “hidden” sex workers tips

About that, I'm sorry to tell you girlies that your fantasy of rags to riches, your fantasy of social climbing will not come from a man. In this world people, most people marry within their social class. It’s called endogamy, look it up. You won't be rescued of your sad capitalistic tiresome life by a rich man, if you are not some other rich man's daughter. Sorry to burst your bubble but I have to. I'm your witchy older cousin, that's what I'm here for.

On our racial end, black women are selling to each other black women the "hard wig soft life" fantasy. Listen, I'm pro “ black women going wherever they're loved “ but thinking a rich white man will come and save you is laughable at this point. Girls, be fucking for real.

"You work for a man outside of your home anyways, why not work inside your home for another man ” is one of the dumbest rationale I have ever heard. You mean to tell me young women cannot tell the difference between a job contract with certain paid hours listed and money falling in your bank account and endless UNPAID carework ? Girls, be fucking for real.

I get it, no really I understand. We are in late stage capitalism and the girlies are tired, they’re experiencing the limits of girlboss feminism and they’re realizing the grind actually drains you from your soul. However, thinking being a stay at home mother and working 24/7 with no contract, no resting days and a man having all power over you, so that the day he drops you for a younger model, with multiple kids to take care of by yourself, the gap in your resume will be so big you won’t have any choice than working in an amazon warehouse to put some butter in the spinach, is somehow the solution baffles me. I am dumbfounded, flabbergasted, I thought we all knew that the hand that has the power to feed you also has the power to starve you ? And you want to give that power to any other tom, dick or harry? Black jesus take the wheel.

That being said, I get why this content started in the US. Let’s not forget this is a country founded by a bunch of religious extremists. This type of rhetorics is rooted in white supremacist christianity and flourish better in this type of soil. Plus it’s capitalism headquaters, a country with barely any social protection system with individuality at its roots, therefore no solidarity and no way of seeing life and “protection “ outside of the heterosexual couple. I even see it with people living in Côte d’ivoire that grew up in the US. Those people seem to have individuality and selfishness embedded in their system, which often comes as a stark contrast in a country where most people are poor and therefore wouldn’t wurvive without community and solidarity. In Côte d’Ivoire, we have an expression that translates to " a cigarette is smoked with two mouths" meaning that you share even the smallest thing, like a cigarette.

Anyways , the girlies are tired , they are lonely, spiritually lost, inflation and cost of living in beating their asses, the planet is burning, they have no hope in the future, they don’t know how to build community. Often, they don’t even have exemples of how to do it. They want a break from late stage capitalism. They want to REST. And that is when facism catches them by selling them the fantasy that “ resting in their femininity", embracing classic white supremacists definition of womanhood and giving up on the rights generations of women have fought for, will somehow be their solace.

BREAKING NEWS : IT WON'T

As you must know by now, I am a woman floating between geographies and realities. And women who don’t exist solely in the western world have plenty of exemple around them of women whose entire lives depend on a man due to cultural laws and lack of basic protection. It’s absolutely not an enviable position. Even in the West, like I stated before, Amazon warehouses are full of women who thought their man would never leave them dry and hanging with their kids to raise all by themselves, but found out the hard way. Grandmothers have horrible tales of being left barefooted in the winter and (forcibly) pregnant in the summer. So as we say in CIV, qu’est-ce qui n'a pas marché? What went wrong? When did the transmission line break?

So girlies, I know times are hard but let’s connect our neurones and read between the lines. Let’s not gobble up ideologies that are pipelines to our oppression. Everything they deem as “masculine” is just being a fully functioning adult in charge of one's own life. Stop thinking that a rich man will save you. Only collective political struggle will save us all. Most men are as poor as you and you heterosexual girlies will end up with a regular man that work a regular job like you. Because the majority of people in this world are not part of the 1% and the 1% is stealing from all of us.

As Cher famously said, let’s “be the rich man”. And not rich as in "let’s make a lot of money". Let’s be rich in creating and nurturing community, in unlearning the capitalist conditioning in us, in building solidarity, in deeply caring for each other. How ? I don’t know exactly, I don’t have all the answers (I'm just the messenger), but I believe those in the Global North should look into how those in the global south have been surviving through the hell hole white people put us in, for the last 500 years.

You're going to “dark femme” yourself into isolation my sister in Olorum.

Join a union, move closer to family if you can, join a social club, join a church, join a mosque, start a tontine, start an afterschool program, create a single mothers weekend club, a book club, a witch club that meet every month to do full moon rituals, start introducing yourself to your neighbors, I don’t know, start somewhere. Don’t spend the few days off capitalism gives you by doomscrolling social media and gobbling up content makes you embrace facism little by little. Do something, because if there is one thing I know for sure is that your solace will not come from making yourself small and vulnerable just to be chosen by a man. This feature has been tested for centuries and it has never worked in our favor. NEVER.

In conclusion, may we never loose sight of the importance of our freedom and self determination to the point that we are tricked to give it back to the man in exchange of barely anything.

(Everybody say : Ase oh !)