Young, African and Famous, Season 3

Those people are getting on my damn nerves.

Hello girls and gays,

I watched Young, African and Famous with the 1.5X speed because those people were getting on my damn nerves but I still wanted to watch enough to criticize it. I'm a conscientious hater. I didn't watch the whole thing though, I could only go until episode 6. Clap for me.

First of all, I want to say, I know damn well the title is Young, Famous and African but it sounds wrong, it doesn’t roll on the tongue, so I unilaterally decided to change it. Who's gonna beat me? Plus, nobody in the show is young besides maybe Fantana and Luis, and now Shakid. But it is well, we collectively decided to roll with it since season 1.

So, here are my thoughts on this season, with no particular rhyme or rhythm.

• I had hoped the production this year was going to be better. All they do is dress like street lamps, meet for dinner/lunch/drinks, sometimes a trip; fight and argue, then meet again in small clusters to discuss the fights, then meet the whole group and fight again. And so forth and so on. For the love of Oxala, those people are supposed to be entertainers, can’t we follow them to work, see them with their families etc. Okay the young isn’t here but SHOW US THE FAMOUS ! Always food and fight, while dressed like they’re going to the Met Gala if tacky was the theme. and this season was worse. I understand fights are what catches people's attention but surely there is a way to alternate the arguments with other interesting things?

• I really missed Kanyi and Andile this season. Kanyi really was the soul of this show and I had a crush on Andile from episode. Yes I admit, sophisticated fuckboys are the bane of my existence. His baby mamas drama last season was quality drama, the kind of thing I want to see on the show, I enjoyed it. Kanyi's wig moment was also hilarious and her response to the mockery even better. Sure, she made a cameo in this season but it really wasn’t the same without her. Kanyi and Andile please come back.

• Fantana : I know the show is scripted but I've never seen such a delusional person. The pregnancy scare storyline left me shaking my head so hard, I almost pulled a neck’muscle. What is so attractive about Diamond, an international fuckboy, father Abraham, someone who probably has baby mamas in all 54 African countries + Dubaï ? I'm not going to talk about his physique because les goûts et les couleurs, ça se discute pas ( you don’t argue about taste and colors) but sincerely Fantana girl, what would make you want to carry that man's seed ? Like he said, he probably has good dick. We all fell for ugly men with elite penis before we hit 30, so I have compassion for her but damn, girl, shine you eyes a little.

• Diamond : Nothing else to add about that énergumène.

• Luis : Nice looking young man, the skin was glowing this season. The new hairstyle was beautiful and suited him. I don’t know why they can’t pronounce his name properly though. It’s such a simple name. He has crushes on everyone but I also don’t understand why nobody loves him back ? Poor dear. This season he said “no more crying, you victimize me I victimize you back” and he took it seriously, I loved that. His back story about being shunned from his family and religious community for having sex on reality TV is so sad. Organized religion needs to be banned from Africa until we figure out where we want to go because that's not it. I hope this fine boy finds a woman (or a surrogate) he can have a baby with and start his own family. Good luck in your endeavours luiS!

• Zari : Not much to say about the boss lady. I like the way she carries herself. When she wants to be a villain she doesn’t throw stones and hide her hands like Annie. She stands on business. On that aspect, I identify with her. I think she deserves her boss lady title. Also, she truly is the best dressed of them all.

• Annie : talking about throwing stones and hiding her hands. ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY? Since she arrived on the show I told myself, as messy as I am, Netflix would have to pay me MILLIONS to expose my life as a woman who got cheated on multiple times, humiliated and still stuck beside her man who impregnated 20 years olds multiple times. I read somewhere she was a teenager when her Innoncent ( what an unfitted name), an adult man well in his twenties, started dating Her. The woman is in a spiritual bondage, she has been groomed. It’s so obvious. She needs to get off the show, get into therapy, leave that man and find her way back to herself. Last I heard her tormentor (husband) posted something about divorcing her? The ultimate humiliation. En tout cas Yako Annie hein, tu mérites pas ça, faut faire vite tu vas aller au village remuer les canaris pour te délivrer.Bonne chance.

• Nadia : Something was off with her this season, probably because she was grieving her man who was shot dead. The man was AKA, a rapper who “ alledgedly” killed his ex girlfriend by throwing her off the 10th floor of a hotel’s window in 2021 (Femicides rates in South Africa are crazy). The investigation found him not guilty but everyone suspects the family waited and then had him unalived. My opinion about this: I'm a feminist. I hope her grieving doesn’t last much longer and she finds her sparks again. She literally dodged a bullet here.

• White girl and Naked DJ: White girl is gorgeous and useless on the show, which I appreciate. The token white representation. The storyline about wanting to get married has been going on for 3 seasons and we are tired. He already got married twice and doesn’t want to do it again. Understandably. Why the drama? Leave him and find a man that wants to get married? I don’t understand all this fuss. Why are women so obsessed about marriage oh my god !!! I don’t have anymore hope for my gender, I swear.

• Kefilwe : Her vibe was the strangest, she gave cold mean girl vibes, I don’t think she was a good new addition. She doesn’t fit into the group. I hope she doesn’t come back next season.

  Do you know, who would perfectly fit into this show? Bobrisky. Oh my god, Netflix please, make Bobrisky join the show. But Swanky is already there, can there be two queens in a castle? That would create elite drama though.

• Ini Edo: INI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I didn’t grow up plugged to Nollywood but even me I know she is up there with the likes of Genevieve Nnaji. A Nollywood OG. She is not a socialite. She didn’t belong there. Even Zari said it. This show was beneath her. The check must have been fat oh, she has a child to raise. Who can blame her?

• Swanky: besides bringing problematic plus ones to the group, making entrances in slow motion while wearing outfits too shiny, and having a childish fight with Annie who has been going on for too long, he doesn’t do much. We don’t know anything about his private life. Probably because his private life makes him risk 14 years of prison in his country (We will get rid of homophobia on this continent when we end organized religions; one stone two birds, I think it’s a nice plan, who’s with me?). I Will say this about Swanky though: despite what he seems to think, the man CANNOT dress. Actually, according to me, he is the worst dressed (him and Fantana).

• Shakib : a good new addition to the show. I loved that he introduced himself in Luganda and not English. Fine looking young chap, skin mosturized and glowing. I actually liked his calm demeanor. He gave me cool big brother vibe, especially when he was talking about Diamond to Fantana. However, I didn’t like his dick-measuring competition with Diamond or any man who got too close to his new wife. He came off as insecure in that aspect but still, I think him and Zari make a nice couple.

Voilà girls and gays, my honest opinion about this season of YAF. Will I watch season 4 if the show comes back?At least the first episode ? Probably, I hope the production does a better and I hope Kanyi and Andile come back.

Bye!