39 Commentaires
Avatar de User
Avatar de Mines Rivero

This was SO good and so refreshing to read. You made my day by being so bold to speak up for so many sisters around the world. We should thank the whores for so many things, they have opened us so many doors to rights and freedoms. They have financially helped other sisters when needed, they have made separations from violent men possible, they have raised happy and healthy children for generations. I've met thousands of sex workers because of my social educator job and I'm so proud I could get to learn SO MUCH from them; my life is better, I am better because of them. THank you for defending them against white feminism, the fucking nordic model, etc.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Mines! I'm so glad you commented. I knew you were going to like because I've never told you and I didn't add it to the piece because it was long, but your work with sex workers and what you shared about it actually helped me destigmatize it. Like my mom, you're one of the people I owe it too. viva las putas!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Harley Knows Best

The comment about being a trad wife is a type of sex work. I’ve thought this since I was a kid.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Oh absolutely, you have to be delusional to not see it.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Obi Ekele

LOVED THIS!! I adore your writing style and the way your sense of humour shines through in this thought-provoking piece. Mary Magdalene's gospels were "lost" and purposely destroyed, not included in the final Bible presumably because she was seen as a prostitute. The stigmatisation of sex work is truly hilarious to me, why are we all pretending we haven't done it in some way, including MEN? I refuse to watch all those nollywood movies about human trafficking being the only reason women end up in sex work, it's fostered a false notion that's harmful. I'm inclined to believe if there was less stigmatisation, if it were more permissible in society and seen as just another job, sex work would be much safer for women (we see this in countries like the Netherlands). the irony of religious societies like Nigeria being such hotbeds of both whorephobia and transactional sex! it's so interesting. you've inspired me to write something in this so thank you for that, hehe. also, pls what's the name of the Colombian film your friend showed you cos I'd LOVE to watch it LOL. Xxx

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thank you Obiajulu ! you said it all. And I didn't know Mary Magdalene's gospels were destroyed. It doesn't surprise me at all. I'm glad I've inspired you to write something, that is the best compliment a writer can ask for. About the film, I can't remember the name of it but I've asked my friend Catalina, if she remembers and let me know I'll send you a link for sure. Thanks again for reading and commenting!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Corey Banana

so good and straight to the point. We all whores and everyone needs to get over it. This reminded me of my “Prostitution Housewives” post I made a while back.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thank you Corey ! indeed we are all whores at different level and I'm tired of the pearl-clutching. I will definitely check your post.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Peter

mind you this is the first time I’m encountering your work and I love it!!! Thank you for this, it was refreshing and very affirming for my inner and outer whore

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Yaaaas Im all about affirming the whores! Inner, outer, past, present, above and beyond, all of them! Thanks for reading

Expand full comment
Avatar de Fatima Mohammed

Ugh! As always, I loved, loved, loved reading this and the video at the end was such a beautiful way to end this piece

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thanks Fatima, i know you always leave comments but i never take it for granted💗

Expand full comment
Avatar de sabina

God every time that video comes across my timeline anywhere on social media I watch it at least 7 times. I hope the beautiful iconic woman in it is doing so so well for herself right now. We’re all sluts, it’s just as simple as that.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

I know right ? This video is iconic and the lady is an internet legend. Last time I've heard from her it was on twitter and she said this video pissed off a lot of people and she was badly harassed but wherever she is now, I hope she is doing amazing.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Roland Gruen

Thank you for sharing your perspective on this issue.

In some regions worldwide, especially in the West, a woman who is confident and self—assured may be disparagingly referred to as a “whore.” However, it is highly unlikely that anyone would refer to someone who owns weapons as a “murderer.”

Owning a firearm: 🥱

Showing a nipple: 😱

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thanks for reading and commenting Roland ! and you're right about this double standard, will it ever end ? Probably not in our lifetimes.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Goddess Amy

Omg!! I love youuuu!!!

This is so beautifully written and I’m Nigerian so I could relate to the whole wrapper thing lmao

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thanks girl ! haha i'm glad you liked the piece and yes the wrapper is a vibe, I hate not being able to go out half naked like our ancestors for real. This the closest thing we get I guess.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Angèle

I need to love a comment because wtf this is so fucking good and Vive Marie Madeleine the whore!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thanks angèle ! I know the word "love" here was a typo but I love that you loved it hehe and yes longues vies aux putes!

Expand full comment
Avatar de V Rodriguez

So good, so unique 👏🏽

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thank you🙏🏾

Expand full comment
Avatar de Taiwo

I love this article so much! It’s such an important piece that still manages to be very funny. Great work!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

Thank you Taiwo!( i love that name.)

Expand full comment
Avatar de anni aali

from a whore, thank you 💞

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

From a whore lover, thank you, I appreciate it.

Expand full comment
Avatar de Omolara Ojutilohun Oriye

Thank you for writing this!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

thank you for reading !

Expand full comment
Avatar de mi

This article REALLY hit home. Thanks for sharing such a powerful and clear perspective— I felt some of the quotes in my bones. We need to challenge the stigma around sex work, I see a resurgence of the "provider man"/"high maintenance woman" online and I couldn't place why I didn't like this. The whole hypocrisy around transactional relationships, yet when sex is openly involved suddenly it's shameful?? Anyway it reminds me of how much it sex work contributes freedom and survival in this society....phew.

I admit to agree to this completely but I needed the perspective shift because I feel like sex work is probably not paid well enough. I ordered a book recently called "when God was a Woman", I haven't started it but I know some of those themes are mentioned.

Because, you're right there's the whole religious stigma to unpack too. I need to ponder on this more. We're all sluts I agree!

Expand full comment
Avatar de Nzinga Bandida

thanks Marie for you comment ! and you are absolutely right about the high value provider man/ high maintenance woman resting in her feminine thing EVERYONE is promoting online these days. It's just sex work without saying the words. So many feminists complain those women are teaching escort techniques without teaching escort safety tips. It's all so hypocritical and I will probably talk about it in another piece. And thanks for the book recommendation too !

Expand full comment
Avatar de Mary Upton

"See how we never talk about male sex workers? Because it doesn't matter whether a man sells sex or not. Regardless of what they do, men's human dignity always remains intact, and conversely, all it takes for women to lose their dignity is to breathe air." *internally screams into the void*

This was SUCH a good read!!!

Expand full comment