Ugh, I hate how difficult making friends is as an adult. Similarly for me, my friendships from my teenage years were some of my best friendships. Luckily, I’m still really close with some of them. I'm so sorry about all you've gone through and about your friendship breakup too. That must have been–and still be–really difficult. I'm also in support of viewing friendship breakups as real breakups too. Imagine losing someone you’ve laughed and cried and done life with for over a decade? (When You Were Everything by Ashley Woodfolk is a book on the topic of friendship breakups, btw). I also believe we should be more straightforward when we want to be friends with someone. I remember a guy who told me girls were weird for directly telling other girls they wanted to be friends with them. Personally, I find it really cool. I’ve been on both sides of that conversation and they went well. And remember that they are other women out there who also value friendships and don't put them beneath romantic relationships. I hope you find your people who appreciate all of your beautiful multifaceted amazingness. Also, I’ve been wanting to watch We Are Lady Parts for so long, this is my sign (have you seen the movie Polite Society? It’s the debut film of the creator of We Are Lady Parts) and I’d love to check out Betty, too. Thank you for this!
I'm glad you liked that piece Fatima. I had not heard of Polite Society but I'll definetely check. And that book too! that 5 years mark is coming up so I want to do my best to be detached by then. I don't think it's weird to ask someone to be your friends directly, i've done it a few times and sometimes people would say yes but still not follow up so now i don't do it anymore. All in all I think i'm slowly moving from anxiously attached to avoidant and it seems way more confortable, i'll see if i like it here haha.
Ugh, I hate how difficult making friends is as an adult. Similarly for me, my friendships from my teenage years were some of my best friendships. Luckily, I’m still really close with some of them. I'm so sorry about all you've gone through and about your friendship breakup too. That must have been–and still be–really difficult. I'm also in support of viewing friendship breakups as real breakups too. Imagine losing someone you’ve laughed and cried and done life with for over a decade? (When You Were Everything by Ashley Woodfolk is a book on the topic of friendship breakups, btw). I also believe we should be more straightforward when we want to be friends with someone. I remember a guy who told me girls were weird for directly telling other girls they wanted to be friends with them. Personally, I find it really cool. I’ve been on both sides of that conversation and they went well. And remember that they are other women out there who also value friendships and don't put them beneath romantic relationships. I hope you find your people who appreciate all of your beautiful multifaceted amazingness. Also, I’ve been wanting to watch We Are Lady Parts for so long, this is my sign (have you seen the movie Polite Society? It’s the debut film of the creator of We Are Lady Parts) and I’d love to check out Betty, too. Thank you for this!
I'm glad you liked that piece Fatima. I had not heard of Polite Society but I'll definetely check. And that book too! that 5 years mark is coming up so I want to do my best to be detached by then. I don't think it's weird to ask someone to be your friends directly, i've done it a few times and sometimes people would say yes but still not follow up so now i don't do it anymore. All in all I think i'm slowly moving from anxiously attached to avoidant and it seems way more confortable, i'll see if i like it here haha.